It has been a few weeks since I came back from another country. The familiar became apparent right away as soon as I stepped out of the plane, what with the Filipino language like music to my ears, the jostling traffic, the noise and most of all - the clear blue skies….

I have traveled in search of bigger pastures and to follow my husband who left more than two months ago carrying with him dreams of our future owned home and kids running in the yard.

When I first came to Dubai, the huge number of Filipinos arriving and leaving the airport surprised me. It felt like I was just in another more upscale city in Manila. Say perhaps Makati, permeated with more foreigners going about their own business like normal people.    

Stepping out of the airport, it seemed as if I was looking through sepia colored lenses. There was a thick haze of dust, stale air and heat about, creating a blanket of sand-gold atmosphere almost too unreal to be real.   

I have heard people describe the weather in the Middle East as very humid and dry, but to experience the humidity and dryness of that place in the peak of summer myself is way beyond description. You walk out from an air-conditioned building into the street and suddenly the temperature drops in such huge difference that all at once your clothes stick to your skin like glue. Your scalp absorbs the heat your body produces and excretes an unbelievable amount of sweat, which in turn made my hair look like glop. 

In that other country, taxis and buses are the main form of public transportation and for newbies like myself it sometimes can get frustrating and confusing that it makes walking a staple. The land is arid and it almost made my pair of hardy flipflops melt in the hot cement. Sand sticks in between my toes as my feet produced sweat from walking to one place towards another, where in Manila you can easily get to wherever by riding either a jeepney or a tricycle – and you can even choose to stop anywhere!

We share our place with eight other Filipinos who are not relatives. That is because space in Dubai is a high priced commodity. It is so expensive that people do not mind living like housemates inside Big Brother’s house just to have a place to stay in. For example, our flat, which is supposed to house a maximum of only six individuals, have been turned into a maxi pad able to fit in 12 bed spacers. But unlike the Big Brother house with its spacious rooms and swanky appeal, our place is very constricting. Privacy is limited within the four corners of your double deck bed whether you’re ensconced at the upper or lower deck. Bathroom time is scheduled and kitchen activity is on a first come first use basis. Courtesy is the main rule and housemates who are careless are kicked out or given the cold treatment. AC is on 24/7, which makes everything a tad bearable. There is cable TV and Wifi available if the other housemates are willing to pay for a meager amount. The prices of goods are affordable and pork is allowed unlike in other areas in the Middle East.

Aside from the compact living everything else is easy in this oil rich paradise. Push a button and your laundry is done. Dial a number and someone will come to pick up your clothes and deliver it neatly pressed with a free hanger. Over the counter medicine, canned tuna, water and gas among others can be at your doorstep with just a phone call. A few meters away is a gorgeous mall with all the amenities that any mall rat can ever dream of. Salivating for local fares like pinakbet, sinigang or kare-kare? No problem! There are Filipino supermarkets at almost every corner, which are almost always fully stocked and swarmed with kababayans. If you’re daring enough you can even catch mild waves in the nearby Jumeira Beach for a late afternoon swim or a stroll on the beach just to enjoy the open space and listen to the waves to relax frazzled nerves. An ordinary sight seen at the beach were Arab women swathed in black flowing robes and covered faces wading in the water, half naked Pakistani and Indian men in their diaper-like swimwear and of course Filipinos talking and laughing away all their cares. My husband, my girl friend and myself spent our day at the beach walking along the surf, talking, eating chips and lying on the sand looking up at the starless night sky.

In Dubai, it is common for foreigners like us to give way to locals when getting taxis, going in the elevator, or when being served in restaurants. The locals, who compose only about 25% of the population, were given special treatment all the time. However, when it comes to the labor force, Filipino workers are given the same opportunity as the other nationals although just like in the Philippines, Westerners get top billing.

I now understand why many Filipinos make a dash for foreign countries and work their asses off to make that country richer – the salary usually are 5 times what you would normally earn in the Philippines and in Dubai it is even better as the salaries are tax free and a job like mine in the Philippines can fish me more than 5 times of what I make…which is why I came back to Manila – to wait for my employment visa and support my husband in his archetypal idea of family life back in the Philippines. After 2 months in Dubai, with a new job and first time experiences in my pocket I am back.

These days I walk whenever I can to where I am going and welcome the exercise. I breathe in the smell of grass and trees in the not so polluted area of Alabang. I relish every jeepney and tricycle ride even though the price of fare has drastically gone up. I spend time at home. Clean my spacious room without any complaint. I gorge myself with fresh vegetable and fruits. I watch late night HBO shows and catch up with friends. I am nicer to my younger brother and a lot less critical of our house help. Sometimes I just look at my parents and enjoy their presence and on rainy days I stay out in our garden memorizing the sound of rain and walking in it in a big umbrella. The next day when it stops raining, I look at the azure skies and that clarity which I had not seen for two months.    

Yes, I do miss my husband big time. Like I said he is the reason why I went out of my comfort zone and embarked on my adventure and I am going back to him. In the meantime, my active nephew has taken hold of my attention and his laughter makes my soul feel lighter.

Everything that is happening to me now, I have my new experiences to thank for. They say traveling can make one develop culture, but it does more than that, it makes all the things you have known all your life seem brand new.

My appreciation for everything Filipino and ours is stronger than ever but with overflowing enthusiasm and an open heart I can’t wait to travel again and see a different sky.

How do you deal with envy or jealousy?

Do you simply ignore it? Conceal it? What's the best way to deal when you are experiencing this emotion? Jealousy, psychologically incapacitates normal train of thinking, makes you paranoid and sensitive. Envy on the other hand promotes discontent, greed and a constant irritability. Working side by side, these two can make a person go crazy and alienate the people they care for.

Personally, I find it hard to conceal my own jealousy. Even though I try so hard, I'm very conscious my own actions will show how I feel. Sometimes I just can't help but be jealous in my place of work, by other people's financial status, wonderful opportunities and perfect partners. Being jealous throws me off my cool vibe and makes me feel small inside, like I'm not good enough, that I've not tried enough. Then, when I kind of reach that level, I push myself to work like a horse and aim for unrealistic goals- goals that with enough time can be achieved, goals that are intended to make our lives better. But these goals I have set for myself have became the bane that triggers the discontent in me. I get frustrated easily and I tend to push my partner to fight my own battle when its very clear that all he wanted is to just enjoy the moment....clearly the workings of my envious persona.

I feel alone and sometimes distant to people that are really important to me when I feel jealous or envious. I know I can't get rid of how I feel. This is my demon. I know I have to overcome it lest it becomes my friend....